Thursday, January 28, 2010

almost out of body




I'm not sure why I can never seem to shake rejection, or why things seem to touch me so deeply. I don't know why I get insecure about what people keep saying is "no big deal" or why it's such a chore to hold back or to push forward tears.

I've been so distracted lately. Not angry or sad really, but lost in this haze of what I feel, what I should feel and what I don't know how to feel. I imagine everyone has been there, and if you have, you know, all too well, that it's a surreal, almost out-of-body place to be. I feel like, during times like these, that I can't quite get my finger on anything, it all seems out of reach or slipping from my grasps.

I wonder why it is that I keep searching into things, for something deeper. I have a hard time believing that what's on the surface is sometimes all the further it goes, I guess.

3 comments:

Jenn on January 28, 2010 at 12:24 PM said...

I've been that way lately too, often catching myself staring off into empty space at nothing with a completely blank mind. Maybe it's the weather?

I think it's normal to question how deep things can really be. Water can look the same whether shallow or deep but there are few people willing to jump in and find out just how deep it is.

Amber Rosie on January 29, 2010 at 6:18 PM said...

I understand what you are saying, Johnna. Sometimes things are just a haze. I wish I knew why. It seems I get there a lot lately!

Robby on January 30, 2010 at 10:45 AM said...

I think it is because you are so creative...always questioning...searching....(don't ever question your ability though...you are amazing!) xxxRobby

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