I don't even know why I am posting tonight. I think sometimes I just need a moment to vent, not really in an angry way, but to feel like I am looking at things in a tangible way.
My brother's birthday is tomorrow... he's going to be thirteen, but this kid, wow, you'd never guess that. He's so smart and so talented at everything he does. He's polite and kind and so much more mature than I ever was. He has plans and goals. It amazes me, HE amazes me.
It seems unfair that he has grown up so fast. Looking at him now, you would never know that he was once this big round butterball. I remember him smiling and his eyes would just look like slits. he had rolls everywhere and everyone just rolled around on the floor with him, he was too heavy to carry and his favorite pastimes were eating and sleeping ;) he still likes both but in much more moderation, and he taught himself to play the guitar over the last year... I cannot believe how good he is! I think, one day, he is going to make a woman very happy... be a great daddy and an incredible Christian man. I love him so much.
Anyway... his birthday is tomarow, and he always has a joint party with my sister -- who is 18 now! GASP, I know... just shut up, my baby sister cannot be a woman... cannot be able to vote... I wrote this last month but it seems appropriate to repost now ...
I was 7 when Mom had Rianna (Ree-Nee I call her, or Rawner, sometimes Ree Nee Nee Cheater). I didn't want a sister. My best friend at the time, Nalin, convinced me that when Rianna came my parents wouldn't have time for me or like me as much as they used to... Rianna would be new and cute and I would just be annoying. I greived over her coming, I had nightmares and decided I would never like her.
I was not what you would call a nice sister. I would whisper mean things to her like "I don't like you Sister"... I cringe thinking of that now.
For all my efforts to distance myself and to prove that I didn't have to like her... it sure didn't get me anywhere. I love Rianna and her voice and her face and her smile... I love her sense of humor and the way she radiates light when she thinks no one is looking. I love that she is stronger than I was at her age and so much more talented. I love that she is a little scared to grow up... and that she loves her family deeply - even if she tries to convince us otherwise... ;)
She is going to be 18 on the 26th of December. I couldn't ask for a better sister... she brightens my world and even if she never smiles in any of the photos I take of her... I know she loves me, and the not smiling is her way of saying, "I love you sis, and your stupid camera".
She picked up photography as a hobby recently, which delighted me to no end, and she can draw like there is no tomorrow.
I am one lucky woman to have such awesome kids ... uh... people in my life. I thank God every day for them!