Sunday, February 7, 2010

The Journey | Happy Anniversary




Today we celebrate.
Quietly but deeply, the years we have shared, the work we have done and the journey we have taken.
We celebrate all the moments we choose to live a life together rather than run to our own selfish corners.
We treasure the good times and recognize all we learned from the trials.
Today we celebrate, love.

I was 19 then, scared, insecure and still so unsure of myself or my convictions. I didn't think I could handle the responsibility, that I would fail to live up to the expectations I imposed on myself. But I was ready to embark on a life of meaning. A life with someone else.

I was 20 when Lydia was born. The most happy and emotional day of my life! I was thrust into very tangible roles as Mother along with Wife and we were no longer a couple but a family. More insecurity settled on me. John was faced with more financial responsibility. We struggled. Sure, we struggled a lot those 2 years. We didn't know who WE were, let alone the proper way to live and love. We tried, but we both got hurt and we both got angry.

I think the first few years of marriage are maybe the hardest... But I think it's important. Let's face it, what makes it hard is each of you finding your voice. John becoming head of a household and shouldering a heavy load, and Me... becoming a Mother and Being responisble for all the emotional support my family needed.

It wasn't till I turned 25 that I really felt confidence. The kind you hear about. Where you let go and say I really can do all things through Christ and I am strong in my convictions and commitments. I am strong in my role as WIFE and MOTHER. I know that I am right but I know when to back down. I think in the last year John has embraced his role as provider with new-found pride. The knowing that he is capable, that he is a good man and that he is strong in that role.
We've both been hurt, but we both have been loved. I've been loved as if I was the only woman on this earth, as if everything began and ended in me and I have been blessed enough to love someone else that much as well. I have held his hand when he needed me, been the strong and silent one. I have been the weeping mess, collapsed in his arms. I have been the one praying and the one prayed for. I have given and I have taken.

I am only here... because of him. My life would not hold the promises and blessing of 6 years of effort without him. I know who I am becasue of him and I know I have a place in someone's heart because of him.

I am only as happy as him, as loved and as whole...

Thank you for this life, for your patience and for your arms.
I love you John

Forever and Always... till the ends of all that is and beyond still.

I AM ONLY YOURS

9 comments:

Beth Simmons on February 7, 2010 at 10:21 AM said...

Congratulations on your six years of marriage. I know the first years are hard but so glad you have worked and prayed to make them good. This is a beautiful tribute to your husband and your love as a couple. I wish you many many more happy fulling years together.

Amber Rosie on February 7, 2010 at 10:59 AM said...

Happy Anniversary, I am so happy for you two!

Beverly on February 7, 2010 at 12:14 PM said...

so beautiful! Happy Anniversary!!!

JohnandSheila on February 7, 2010 at 2:46 PM said...

So wonderfully said as always...We are proud to call you our Son and Daughter! Many Many more!

Maegan Beishline on February 7, 2010 at 3:52 PM said...

Happy Anniversary to the both of you! You have described those universal feelings of being young and just married and still unsure of so much in such an eloquent manner. It's so true how you just grow together and that growth just makes your love stronger. It is so evident how much you love and respect your husband and that is beautiful!

Jenn on February 7, 2010 at 5:21 PM said...

Happy Anniversary to you. They go by so fast, don't they? I have to admit that it's reassuring to hear that the first few years are the hardest. I've found love that I feel is unwaivering, but the first year was so very trying at times. I wish you two a lifetime of love, always growing together and never apart.

fullofbliss on February 7, 2010 at 7:20 PM said...

First let me wipe the tears from my eyes...
Happy Anniversary to the two of you! You wrote so beautifully and so honestly from your heart.
What a wonderful partnership the two of you have and are continuing to nurture and grow. I pray that the next six years will bring you and your family blessing beyond your wildest dreams. Congratulations on a wonderful accomplishment.
XO~Bekah

Tasha on February 10, 2010 at 6:37 AM said...

I'm a little late but Happy Anniversary! I love the honesty of your post. It definitely describes how I felt and sometimes still feel about being a mom and a wife. The first five years of marriage are hard, it's about finding your way as a couple and giving up everything that's just you. Don't get me wrong, we are still who we are individually but so much more as a couple and as a family unit. Congrats again hun!

all that i am on February 10, 2010 at 4:34 PM said...

what a beautiful, heartfelt, honest, real, faithful, expression of love...
happy anniversary
and many more to come...
we just celebrated 26! seems like 6...seems like forever...

Post a Comment