Sunday, February 7, 2010
9:48 AM Posted by Johnna Riddell
Today we celebrate.
Quietly but deeply, the years we have shared, the work we have done and the journey we have taken.
We celebrate all the moments we choose to live a life together rather than run to our own selfish corners.
We treasure the good times and recognize all we learned from the trials.
Today we celebrate, love.
I was 19 then, scared, insecure and still so unsure of myself or my convictions. I didn't think I could handle the responsibility, that I would fail to live up to the expectations I imposed on myself. But I was ready to embark on a life of meaning. A life with someone else.
I was 20 when Lydia was born. The most happy and emotional day of my life! I was thrust into very tangible roles as Mother along with Wife and we were no longer a couple but a family. More insecurity settled on me. John was faced with more financial responsibility. We struggled. Sure, we struggled a lot those 2 years. We didn't know who WE were, let alone the proper way to live and love. We tried, but we both got hurt and we both got angry.
I think the first few years of marriage are maybe the hardest... But I think it's important. Let's face it, what makes it hard is each of you finding your voice. John becoming head of a household and shouldering a heavy load, and Me... becoming a Mother and Being responisble for all the emotional support my family needed.
It wasn't till I turned 25 that I really felt confidence. The kind you hear about. Where you let go and say I really can do all things through Christ and I am strong in my convictions and commitments. I am strong in my role as WIFE and MOTHER. I know that I am right but I know when to back down. I think in the last year John has embraced his role as provider with new-found pride. The knowing that he is capable, that he is a good man and that he is strong in that role.
We've both been hurt, but we both have been loved. I've been loved as if I was the only woman on this earth, as if everything began and ended in me and I have been blessed enough to love someone else that much as well. I have held his hand when he needed me, been the strong and silent one. I have been the weeping mess, collapsed in his arms. I have been the one praying and the one prayed for. I have given and I have taken.
I am only here... because of him. My life would not hold the promises and blessing of 6 years of effort without him. I know who I am becasue of him and I know I have a place in someone's heart because of him.
I am only as happy as him, as loved and as whole...
Thank you for this life, for your patience and for your arms.
I love you John
Forever and Always... till the ends of all that is and beyond still.
I AM ONLY YOURS