Modern Mothering : A Blog Series
Here’s the ground I’ll cover in this Seven-Part Series and I would love to hear back from you…
Part One : Before we Are Mothers
Part Two : The Mothers of a New Mother
Part Three : The Breastfeeding Stigma
Part Four : Stay At Home Moms
Part Five : Being a Biblical Wife and The Examples we set for our Children
Part Six : Making the Hard Decisions, Resting On Faith
Part Seven : Depression and Working Through It
Part One : Before We Are Mothers
At the beginning of each part in this series you will see this little note. I want to remind you that I am not trying to come from a negative space, or a judgmental - holier than thou - kind of place. I’m coming from the place of a mother who knows she has a lot to learn, that she knows she has a long way to go… and that she loves being a mother. I hope that you don’t take anything I say as anything more than my own experience and a heartfelt message. I pass no judgment, and appreciate all mothers and the styles they embrace. I hope to learn something on this journey and hear your stories as well.
Being a Mother starts long before we have children. I didn’t realize it at the time, but all my experiences would eventually be stories to share - or not share… it would be my advice, it would be my link to their adolescence.
All my decisions would shape the mother I would become and the way I relate to others.
When I met my husband, I didn’t expect that that not even 2 years later we would be married with our first child. I was 18 when we met, very insecure and had no intention of becoming a mother in that foreseeable future, although, I knew I wanted children.
I remember the day we took the test and it came up positive. I couldn’t breathe. A child… my child. And so began my tangible journey into motherhood.
I read so many books, trying to ready myself for the changes. Ready myself for what would inevitably be. I tried to document the sensations and emotions I felt. Becoming a mother means realizing that the world is so much bigger than you. Realizing you are not the center of the universe.
I was sick for months, horrible morning sickness, back pain and swelling. I realize, after three babies, that it wasn’t so bad, it was normal… but the first time you are pregnant it’s overwhelming, or it was for me. I stayed away from all caffeine and fish, prided myself on my healthy lifestyle. I wanted to be the best mother ever.
In the last few months of my pregnancy, I was “offered” lots of advice. Some good, some bad, and some just ridiculous. It was a hard time in my life. Realizing that everyone had opinions and there was no way that I could please them all. I was hearing things like :
Breastfeed … Don’t breastfeed … Co sleep … Don’t co sleep … Use a pacifier … Don’t use a pacifier … Boil everything … Don’t boil everything … Recalls … car seats … bumper pads … SIDs … animals
Some days it was more than I could bare.
I had all these expectations weighing on me… and all I wanted to do was hold my daughter. It seemed cruel.
I’ve noticed in the years since then, that it is cruel out there. Mothers are critical of each other and their choices. They point fingers and argue over who is the best. I have been scolded for choices I have made… and I have felt judgment. We all have. I think, what I would like to accomplish, is to become the type of mother that feels strong about her convictions, but that is understanding of each family’s choices. And that what matters is Love… not so much the details.
Check Back for “The Mothers of a New Mother”
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this, and hear your advice and insight… Us mothers need to come together and embrace our similarities and our differences so that we can be united and more supportive. I’ll encourage you to share here, in the comments or blog about it and share the link. Thanks for taking the time to read. It means so much