Thursday, March 18, 2010



That's the best way I can describe it. Sure the day was hectic, full of boo boos and name calling, a little sibling rivalry and a lot of chores, but, it was quiet in spirit. The kind of quiet where you don't cry, you don't scream, you don't feel like it's too much, you just ... remember.
Today is one of those days when remembering isn't hard. It's different than October, March is full of life, and light and joy ... so much so, that I can celebrate the life around me, not the things I have lost. I know this is vauge and non-commital but, the way I am feeling and the reasons I am feeling are very personal... they are my treasures.

I did the laundry, the whites. My favorite kind of laundry to do. Bleach, Hot Water, The smell of clean linens, towels and dress shirts for my son. There is something refreshing about it, something that reminds me that no matter how dirty anything gets, there is always hope of it coming clean, that no matter how many wrong paths we choose, we can always get back to the light.

I cleaned the furniture. Moved it, vacuumed under it. Shook out the curtains. I pulled them back and let that glorious springtime light fill the room. It washes over me like peace. It's rare that so much can be said with so few words, but God does it, every time He fills my front room with light.

We blew bubbles and sang and danced. It was like an out of body experience ... I was grateful. Days like this, help me hold on to that.

My wonderful brother and sister stopped by to see us, which brightened my day, ten-fold, we played outside, and then walked around our small town, stopping at the gazebo ( our spot ) for a picnic of mm's and gummy bears. This is what spring time is all about... being together.
I just thank God that he always lets me remember... that he lets me celebrate life everyday, and celebrate those who can't be here... even if I don't say a word.

... i miss you.


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