Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Part Five : Being a Biblical Wife and The Examples we set for our Children

Part Five : Being a Biblical Wife and The Examples we set for our Children

At the beginning of each part in this series you will see this little note. I want to remind you that I am not trying to come from a negative space, or a judgmental - holier than thou - kind of place. I’m coming from the place of a mother who knows she has a lot to learn, that she knows she has a long way to go… and that she loves being a mother. I hope that you don’t take anything I say as anything more than my own experience and a heartfelt message. I pass no judgment, and appreciate all mothers and the styles they embrace. I hope to learn something on this journey and hear your stories as well.

It’s a tall order, but as much as our job as a mother is about our children, it is also about the examples we set as a wife and as a worker.

You can’t shut your husband out, or block others off from your life completely. Part of being a good mother is balancing many things and many roles. This is something I struggle with, so I must reiterate that I am in no way trying to preach at anyone, only sharing my experiences and making an effort to sort out the things I know and the things I am trying to learn.

I have always heard it said that we have three obligations as mothers that are above all else…

1. Our obligation to God and the things he has taught us. To do right by our Christian morals and values. To do what He has set forth for us and to never waiver from what He teaches.
2. To our children. To raise them with love and compassion. To love the Lord and to foster in them security and all the ways we know to be right. To be their biggest advocate and have their needs in highest regard.
3. To our husband. To love him as the partner he is. To never undermine him or to talk ill of him. To honor my commitment to him and to love him forever.

Children need to see their parents hug. They need to see them smile and laugh together. They need to see them agree and treat each other with respect. They need to know that you support his decisions and that he supports yours. It’s important that children feel the bond you share.

After their children, a husband and wife need to put each other first. They need to carve out time to be together, to talk and to just be close. They need to keep their relationship alive and well. If you cannot maintain a level of intimacy with your husband you cannot present a good example, to your children, of what marriage is. After all, we all want our children to be in healthy supportive relationships, that starts with us.

At least one night a month, John and I get one of our parents to watch the babies and we spend grown up time together. We may not always be alone, but the time to be husband and wife is important, it brings us back together and reminds us why we love each other so much.

What do you do to keep your marriage close?

Check Back For “Making the Hard Decisions, Resting on Faith”

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this, and hear your advice and insight… Us mothers need to come together and embrace our similarities and our differences so that we can be united and more supportive. I’ll encourage you to share here, in the comments or blog about it and share the link. Thanks for taking the time to read. It means so much


Anonymous said...

Well said Johnna,now I will ask God to help me to rember and do what is right! love ya Mommy

Miss McClain on April 14, 2010 at 2:37 PM said...

I love this. You are such a wonderful, caring, charming mother and wife. I could only hope to one day be the same.

Anonymous said...

I think that you are very right, especially about the call not to speak ill of our husband, in short, to respect him. I would say though, since you are interested in comments :-) that our God given command is to place our husbands (and for husbands, their wives) above the parent/child relationship. I know that is difficult to hear and think about, especially for parents of young (very dependent) children, but I think the Bible is very clear on that issue, especially since we are modeling before our children, the very relationship between Christ and the Church, that we will want them to apply to their own lives, as believers and ideally to their own marriages. As a married couple we are joined together as one flesh and the husband is to love his wife "as his own body". There is no calling in the Bible for the same treatment to be given to our children, who (and this is in no way meant to seem thoughtless or uncaring) are simply passing through our household.

I truly believe that what God strives to teach us, is that by honoring and respecting our husbands (and husbands, loving their wives as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her) that we model to our children, true, God-given love and devotion, that would be lacking if our attentions placed our own children in a position of greater care than our marriages.

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