Saturday, May 8, 2010

Realities and Blessings : Week Eight


Hello Again ... Welcome Back... or just Welcome ( for those of you visiting for the first time) -- this is another week of Realities and Blessings...

Thanks to the Amazing Maegan of
A Life Set to Words , who shared this inspiring idea and encouraged us to play along ... I am one of many women finding more blessings and more hope each day... thank you Maegan. xo 


 I know this is a day late... but... it's been crazy around here... Infact, I've tried to write this post about 4 times today.

:: Reality ::
The entire time I wanted to make a little pocket money doing photography, NO one wanted me to... No one asked, no one seemed interested. When I said I would do it for free or no more than 5.00 a session with as many kids as they wanted to bring, on their terms, no one wanted to take the offer. And now... now that I am realizing I DON'T want a career in this, but rather this to be a passionate, selfish, indulgence for ME... I am fielding off people left and right. It's not that I'm not flattered, but... I feel so protective over it. Like my Layla Grace, hugging her toys screaming "MINE!"

:: Blessing ::
Well... What a blessing that a craft I am pursueing so dilligantly is showing the improvements. What a blessing that it's a "desired" look... What about that I don't have to advertise, that people are asking me... 
Of course, I see the flaws in my work, I see where I need to improve, but the gap between where I started and where I want to be does have the start of a bridge.
Also... I find it a huge blessing that going through this has made me realize that it should be for me... feeding your creative spirit SHOULD be about getting a message across, YOUR message, not retelling someone elses story. Photography brings me joy, and socializing and trying to please masses don't go hand in hand with that, for me.
I admire ANYONE who can find the balance... but at least I KNOW I'm not that person... at least I know my own limits.

That being said, I do so love photographing my family and close friends and their children... but that is an extension... not a flying leap ;)


 :: Reality ::
 I am tired...


:: Blessing ::
We've had a whole week full of good news and family visits... what better reason could there be to be tired.


 :: Reality ::
The Kodak Point and Shoot I was going to give to Lydia is completely broken. It's circuit boards are fried and there is no fixing it. I am so aggravated, it seems like such a waste.


:: Blessing ::
She really isn't ready yet. I got my Fuji out tonight to let her try and she was swinging it wildly, not trying to compose or think about what she was doing. But. She is my free spirit. Rooster, on the other hand, takes his time and does a GREAT job. It's wonderful to see him. Tomorrow we have a cook out and I am bringing the Fuji for both of them to take pictures of their family. I'm excited, and so are they... and maybe someday Lydia will be ready for her own camera... we could use the time till then to practice. ;)



 :: Reality ::
 I feel a shift of focus in my photography right now, it's strange and very off to me. What and How I want to photograph things other than people is so different... like all the shots in this post. I am loving landscapes that are purposely out of focus... a lot... so much I could do it all day.... And shooting through things with natural texture, like dirty windows and things like that... It's very different... and almost like starting over...

:: Blessing ::
There is something wonderful about branching out... going with the flow and experimenting. And not only that but doing it for myself and not caring what ANY one thinks about it. Maybe it's the "calm" I feel in these muddled images. The calm I desperately need. 
I am so thankful for photography ...

5 comments:

Amber Rosie on May 8, 2010 at 3:21 PM said...

I always look forward to your realities and blessing posts! They always make me smile. Your photography really is great and I love all of these in this posts. They are all so unique.

Jenny on May 8, 2010 at 3:36 PM said...

i love this. i love your view on the photography as business. i agree too. i already committed to doing a couple weddings for some not so close friends for a little cash this summer, and i regret it.
i also love the reality/blessings bit. i need to think this way more often!
Happy mother's day johnna<3

tracie on May 9, 2010 at 7:25 PM said...

I am also so thankful for photography. I too am not sure which way I should go. People are asking me to photograph them and love the extra cash but sometimes I am torn. I love the out of focus pictures.

janine on May 10, 2010 at 1:48 PM said...

I'm completely loving your fuzzy landscapes also :)

Denise on May 11, 2010 at 5:15 PM said...

Your "fuzzy" photos are timeless. Beautiful. TFS!

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