Monday, July 5, 2010

unsure



everyday
every single day
i am faced with a struggle. the struggle to maintain the kindness i know is right, maintain self aware and producitve behavior, to keep myself reminded of the wonder in life and my importance within the circle.

things have been busy here. a little to busy to take the time to make those distinctions. i think i have been neglectful of reminding myself.

or even noticing it when it's right in front of me.

what a july we have had!


fireworks...
picnics...
family and friends...
photo shoots...
playgrounds...
pool parties...
lots of catching up with loved ones and falling behind on house work.

I love cycle and I hate it.
I feel like there are so many people i need to reach out to, but short of a smile and hello i don't know how.


it's odd because within this whirlwind I have felt so much.
connected...
disconnected...
nervous...
excited...
hopeful...
and helpless.

sometimes, all at once.

I feel like i am loosing my grip on everything... and at the same time, I am so ready to watch it soar.


i crave quiet
but it's so lonely there...
i crave uninterrupted laughter...
but life is needing me...


i think i am here to say... goodbye, for a while... i need to sort out so much...

8 comments:

Corinne on July 5, 2010 at 6:06 PM said...

I've missed your posts... and will miss you!
But you do what you have to do.
{And I'd be lying if the same thoughts haven't run through my head...}
Love to you :)

Jan on July 5, 2010 at 6:26 PM said...

Sometimes you just need to take a step back and gain some breathing space.
Hugs sweetie ... I hope things even out easily for you. Enjoy your little ones and have some happy time xoxox

kimi kreations on July 5, 2010 at 7:12 PM said...

No Johnna!!!!!!

it is hard... yes!
but you have to keep going!!
keep taking pictures, keep posting your words, feelings, anger, joy. But you MUST stay connected.
You need to do this for you. You may not see it now but it will come to you one day.

We are all here sweetie. You are not alone.
~kimi~

Misty Wallace on July 5, 2010 at 7:15 PM said...

I am right there with ya! Everything you have expressed i have had some of those same feelings lately, I will miss reading your posts, but know when the time is right you will be writing again. Love on those babies and take time to breathe and enjoy all God has for you. You are in my prayers.
HUGS

Beverly on July 5, 2010 at 8:29 PM said...

Johnna, these photos are so beautiful as are your words! Hope you get a restful break!xoxo

Sofies Haus on July 6, 2010 at 2:11 AM said...

wow great pics!Hughs Anja

barbara on July 6, 2010 at 6:12 AM said...

we've all been there... take some time... we're not going anywhere :)

sarah said...

i completely understand the need to step back and breathe. i hope you won't be gone for long because i enjoy reading your blogs and love seeing the pictures (especially the ones that don't make it to flickr) but i hope that you find the peace and the balance that you are looking for :)

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